Aldi

I didn't grow up very wealthy.  Quite the opposite.  So, if you don't know what Aldi is, then you've probably never had to shop at one.  It's like the cheapest store ever.  It is the quintessential everything-on-the-shelves-is-generic store.  You have to pay a quarter for a shopping cart, which you get back if you return it to the cart area at the front of the store.  There's a handy calculator on each cart, so you can figure out how much the check you will be bouncing will be made out for.  There are no shopping bags, you're expected to steal boxes from the shelves where the merchandise is displayed.

In short, Aldi feels like urban scavenging.  You feel like the clientele is on the verge of a fist fight.  I haven't gone to one since my first internship, where my roommate was from rural Iowa or somewhere and super cheap.  I like to think that my tastes have gotten more expensive throughout the years, but I've never really had the income to keep up with them.  Somebody else does... *cough*SugarMomma*cough*

However, there are a bunch of Aldis in Lexington, and I've been reading their weekly mailers.  They have some pretty good deals.  I'm tempted to go in one just to see if they still have some of my old favorites (strawberry or chocolate swirl ice cream cups and chocolate chunk cookies).

Annie caught me ripping out a recipe from the Aldi mailer, and now she won't stop making fun of me.  It was for Pork Carnitas Tacos.  Yes, it highlighted a bunch of brands you've never heard of, but it sounded good.  So don't judge.

And for those of you elitists, Trader Joes is owned by Aldi.  They're pretty much the same store, except TJs has way better marketing (and food quality).

I'm going to Aldi,
~RoB

Last Breakfast

I woke up on Leap Day to the serene sounds of a tornado siren.  It ended up not being a huge deal for where I live, specifically, but there's no better way to get my ass moving before the sun comes up.  Annie's not from the Midwest.  She knows as much about what to do in a tornado as I did for earthquakes when I originally moved to California.  So, along with turning on the news and checking the batteries on my flashlights, I had to make sure she remained calm.  It wasn't a big deal, she got to focus on Angel, who was losing his shit.  Figuratively.

Within about 30 minutes, I was hungry for breakfast.  I'd like to say that this was a sign of stress, but I've always been one that could shove a big hearty breakfast into his pie hole as soon as his eyes opened.  What I did not expect was the craving.  I really wanted McDonald's breakfast.  I've mentioned how much I love McDonald's breakfasts, but I've also been pretty good about not eating them.  They're not good for you.  Fast food is not good for you.

However, my body flat out told me that if this was to be our last breakfast, it would prefer McDonald's.  Specifically, a bacon-egg-n-cheese bagel with extra sauce.  They don't have those in California, and I thoroughly miss them.  I haven't checked to see if they have them in Lexington, because that might be a slippery slope that I don't need right now.

Long story short, I guess my last breakfast, should the situation arise, would be a McDonald's breakfast sandwich with a hashbrown and heck, maybe even a cini-melt.  Fuck it.  It's my last breakfast.

Fought the temptation, but I wonder what my lunch craving will be,
~RoB

Birthday Party: Part 1 - Wineries

My birthday this year was on a Wednesday.  I turned 27.  Such an awkward number.  My birthday also happens to fall the day after Valentine's Day.  Annie and I had made plans to visit the most highly regarded winery in KY that evening.  Well, they were so busy on VDay that they decided to close for my birthday.  Kind of a bummer.  So, Annie took me out to dinner at a local place that was trying so unbelievably hard to be straight outta San Francisco.  It's called Table 310.  The food was great, but the wine wasn't spectacular (for a wine bar), and we both expected a little more from the dessert menu, since the pastry chef is in line for some big award.

So, we had decided to push the winery back to the Saturday after my birthday.  We actually decided to hit up three wineries in the same area southeast of Lexington.  We had a Groupon for one, and we were recommended another, so it all made sense.  We planned to leave at 4pm.  At almost 4 exactly, I opened my door to check my mail.  2 friends of ours were stepping up onto our porch.  Apparently, Annie had lined up another couple to hang with us for the day (and one to be a DD).  Spectacular!

We started off at Grimes Mill.  This winery is brand new (opened in September), and it's not even on the KY Wine Map that gets handed out at most of the local wineries.  I like 'off the map', and I liked this place.  They only have 6 wines, and they don't have the cheapest tasting ($6 for 3 wines), but it truly feels like a small, family winery.  We bought a bottle of their Bianca, which is a fan favorite.  I met both of the owners, one of which was the grower/winemaker, and we were served by the Tasting Room Manager.  Yeah, not a huge staff.  The best part was where I got all technical with the owner.  I asked him how crush worked in KY, what the residual sugar was on his moscato, and why he didn't have any Italian varietals considering his strong Italian heritage.  I told him I thought that Nebbiolo or Barbera might grow well here (my favorite Piemonte grapes).  That caught his attention.  Though he didn't know if he could find those vines anywhere nearby, he asked if I had any interest in working there.  More about that to come, I hope!

We then progressed to Talon.  Earlier that week, I had actually put in an application to pour in the tasting room at Talon.  They never responded.  I understand, I have 2 Master's degrees in engineering, but I totally would have worked for them.  I had already tried a bunch of their wines, but this gave me a chance to hit a few more on their list of at least 15 wines.  Tastings are typically $5 for 6 wines.  A couple wines weren't bad, but one was absolutely atrocious.  I seriously thought that I had found my first example of cork taint, but the flavors didn't match.  It didn't smell like trash, but a little like horse poop.  Apparently, that's a common thing for one of the local, popular varietals.  Though, they won't say 'horse poop'.  I did.  It was staffed by a bunch of guys that looked like UK students, so at least they kept the convo light.

We ended at Jean Farris.  Their cab just won a double gold at the San Francisco Chronicle wine competition, which is a big deal, especially for a KY wine.  I don't believe any KY wine has ever won such a prestigious award.  And the wine lived up to it.  Between the few of us that were still going (one girl hit her limit by winery #3), we managed to try most of their reds.  Their pinot was nothing special, but I really liked their merlot, and their cab sauv was delicious and perfectly balanced.  As we were sitting there enjoying a delicious cheese tray, another pair of friends walked in and wished me Happy Birthday.  'Cool,' I thought, 'Annie got another couple to come for dinner.'  Before I knew it, there were 11 people there, and we had a private room.  I felt so cool.

Though the service at the wine bar left a lot to be desired, our waiter in the private room was really cool.  The whole winery had an air of pretentiousness, which I'm really surprised with in KY.  Don't they know who their typical clientele are?  However, having lived near Napa Valley, we were used to it.  The food was amazing!  I got duck confit for the appetizer, and it was one of the better things I've eaten in the past year.  The large amount of wine may have had a little to do with it, but it was really, really good.  Twice now, I've considered walking in and ordering it by itself for a quick, delicious bite.  Most people got the special, and we went through 2 bottles of merlot and a bottle of riesling.  We spent a good deal of money, but again, coming from Northern California, it was a great deal.

This day is getting long, so I'll split it into 2 parts,
~RoB

Behind the Times

I remember going to college and Annie making fun of the hairstyles in all of my high school pictures.  "Girls with walls of bangs?  That was so 1992."

And I had always heard that things happen on the coasts, and the Midwest is always lagging on what's new and hip.  It wasn't until I moved back to the Midwest from almost 4 years in California that I could start to see it.

Granted, KY is way behind the times, but it's just an exaggeration of the problem.

1) Wine is growing and wineries are popping up in the oddest places.  It's exciting, because it'll be way easier to get into wine here than in California, but it's almost like they're desperate to hop onto the success of the west coast's wine industry.

2) Everything has a website in California.  Everything.  You can find all the information you need online:  menus, prices, pictures, etc.  The hispanic guy rolling down the street ringing bells selling piraguas can probably be tracked online.  You could typically place an order at any local business via the internet and swing by to pick it up.

3) Everything takes full advantage of the internet.  (As they should.)  You can pay your parking meter by phone if you're stuck in line at the post office.  You can check in at a food truck by scanning a 2D bar code with your phone.  You would be handed an iPad that can change the menu daily without wasting paper.  Hell, farmers can let you pay with a credit card by swiping it into their iPhones.  Literally years beyond the 3 places that I've found that say, "You can check in on Facebook here!"  Ummm... Facebook doesn't even work on my phone any more.

4) Green isn't a buzz word on the west coast.  It's a way of life.  Not having recycling is abominable.  Hell, not having compost is looked down upon.  Wind turbines can be seen on the horizon, nuclear power plants are placed sporadically, solar cells line roofs of houses, there's a pump for hydrogen at the gas station, Prius cars line the streets as if they're breeding like rabbits, a Smart car isn't really a joke anymore (no more parallel parking!), everyone knows and typically uses public transportation, biking to work is promoted (not jeered), everybody spends time outside each day (even if it's just walking during a break at work), parks are massive and busy, you can survive without chain or franchise anything, and people are, generally, open-minded and able to discuss things intellectually.

5) I hadn't held a real newspaper in my hand since high school until moving to KY.

I couldn't tell you how many things are better in KY.  Driving and cost of living and population density and friendliness and prices of drinks at bars and willingness to split bills are all exponentially better.  I'm just blown away by all the things that made life easier out west that are so far ahead of what I see here now.  I wish I was a professional web developer.  I'd move to KY... and own it in 5 years.

Studying html,
~RoB

Eccentric Cee-Lo

Why aren't people giving Cee-Lo the same props as Lady Gaga?  He's eccentric, but he's chubby and short and has baby T-Rex arms.  So his eccentricities are even more ridiculous.  Like cat-cessorizing.

I'm kind of disappointed that Best Week Ever hasn't made a .gif wall of him stroking his cat before a commercial break.  They're usually on top of that.

Unrelated:  other great Cee-Lo pictures:

Is Cee-Lo secretly a genius? Or is the person who made this?

Doubts Cee-Lo is secretly a genius,
~RoB

Condoms

Seriously, if you're in the business of holding the stork at bay this Valentine's Day (or Gonorrhea or swollen, mushroom-penis or whatever), you should try the new Trojan Ecstasy condoms.

No, I'm not paid to say that.  And I don't want to make it sound like I've tried every condom on the market, but ummm... I've used a fair number of them...

It has a better shape (there's no balloon animal  hanging off the end, and there's more room for us ummm... wider folks...)  [There's even a line of Trojan Magnum Ecstasy condoms, but who the fuck needs those?!]  They're kind of expensive, but totally worth it.  That is, unless you have access to free condoms.  Those are more worth it.

Even Angel likes these condoms.  (He ate one on Friday night.)

Just saying,
~RoB

My Whitney Tribute

I'm not really good at being sappy.  So, I'll let her do it.  She's been singing in my head all morning anyway.

We're alone now, and I'm singing this song to you.
I love you in a place where there's no space or time.
You are a friend of mine.
I'll never ask for too much, just all that you are and everything that you do.
I get so emotional, baby, every time I think of you.
Ain't it shocking what love can do?!
Where do broken hearts go?
Can they find their way home?
It's not right, but it's ok.
I'm going to make it anyway.
Goodbye.  Please, don't cry.
I hope you have all you dreamed of.
I will always love you.

I can't really explain why this caught me so off guard.  I mean, I'm more than aware of her drug problems.  I guess I always assumed she would pull through.  When she released her last album, I was so excited that she was on the rebound.  When it wasn't great (which is still better than I'll ever be), I figured that she was going to work her way back to the greatness she once was.  That's, apparently, not how drugs work.  Ya know, same script, different cast.  It'll be her catchphrase, and her internet obituary, but that is because it is so thoroughly true:

Crack is whack,
~RoB