Trivia Team Names

Since moving to Lexington, Annie and I have joined our new friends in playing trivia on Monday nights at a nearby bar. Actually, we just switched bars because the manager at The Pub on Monday nights is a total cunt. Anyway, we kept the same name every week at the Pub as part of a year-long competition. That doesn't exist at the new bar we go to, but instead has a prize every week for the best team name.

I feel like that puts a lot of pressure on my shoulders, since I have the dirtiest mind, the most time on my hands, tend to keep up with current news, and I'm witty. By the way, this place is 'anything goes' as far as how bad your name can be. Also, 'names' more commonly refers to 'long-ass punchlines'.

We haven't won best name yet, even though I've come up with 3 solid names thus far:

• Rodney King's Swim Coach
• Menage a Trois w/ Tatum & McConaughey
• Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're FAT!

We've been beaten by team names like:

• Anderson 'takes it in the pooper' Cooper
• I may have lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in
• Rodney King beats Sheriff Taylor to death, who saw that coming!

Yesterday, I spent a good deal of time trying to be punny or funny about current events:

• I finish faster than the San Diego fireworks
• Harry Potter tricked Cruise into handing Holmes a sock
• Mike McQueary is a cock blocker

I also spent way too much time yesterday trying to figure out something for "Higgs boson".  When I ran them all by Annie, I realized that you needed the mental image in my head for them to work, and you still might not realize it's a Higgs boson reference.  So, here are the Higgs boson puns I came up with, which are now the newest Higgs boson memes on the market.

I'm not sure why the Muppets were primary characters in the puns I thought of.  Also, it was difficult to come up with something that matched the spoonerism of Higgs boson -> Biggs hose on.  I think it works, though.

Aside from that, it's been a good deal of internet research to find what great team names other people have come up with.  There's a good deal of them in reference to Gary Coleman:

• Gary Coleman had a short life
• Death: the closest Gary Coleman got to 6 feet
• Gary Coleman had a different stroke

Now, on my phone, I am collecting a growing list of my favorite team names from the interwebz.  Here are a few:

• The Jackson 4
• Betty White can't wrestle, but you should see her Box
• Beer Makes Smart
• Cake Farts
• Who's Your Daddy, and what does he do?
• 2 Guys, 1 Cup
• Wilford Brimley's Diabetus
• Diarrhea of Anne Frank
• Cupid Stunts
• Truffle Shufflers
• Dysenteryaki
• Don't cum on my Snuggie
• This microphone smells like my dad's dick
• Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Sticky
• Cocaine Smells Good
• It burns when I Quiz

If you hear some, especially regarding current news, I'd love to see/steal them!
~RoB

Name Mnemonics

Picture a toilet in an old, abandoned cabin.  It's the John in a Lodge.  A picture that helps you to remember the name John Lodge.  In high school psychology, I remember learning about how associating pictures when you are learning/introducing something can help people retain it more successfully.  I was immediately determined to find my own mnemonic.

My first and last name are comprised of relatively simple and common words.  I should be able to come up with a brilliant mnemonic for my name. 

Rob Reed:
Stealing a mouthpiece from a wind instrument? 
Snatching a fancy aroma diffuser from Bed, Bath, & Beyond?

The main secretary in high school always said "Rah Breed" over the P.A. when she needed me.  Hooray for sex?

I've yet to find those words that paint a perfect picture,
~RoB

It's February!!

You all know what that means:
BLACK HISTORY MONTH!!!
Well, that's true, but that's actually not what I was thinking.

On Valentine's Day, 1985, when my stripper-named mother was eating a nice dinner with her (now ex- ex- ex-...) husband, she was rushed to the hospital in Hattiesburg, Mississippi with labor pains.  I was pooped out the following afternoon at 1pm.  My original last name was Henderson, but I was adopted by my mother's future (now ex- ex-...?) husband, making my last name Reed.

Robert Reed, the actor who played the father in The Brady Bunch, who died from complications due to HIV.  Awesome.  Robert was shortened to Rob in 6th grade.  There were like 5 Roberts in my class.  (Real unique name in the mid-80's, Mom.)  One kid grabbed Bobby, and I went for Rob.  I honestly don't remember how ~RoB came along.  I think I typed it accidentally one day at the bottom of my emails, and I liked it.  I've used it ever since.

Anyway, Annie made awesome plans for us to stay at a B&B in Downtown Napa the weekend before my birthday to drink a ton of wine.  That's a birthday!!

Tomorrow I have an interview at PowerWorks, the company in charge of the windmills in the Altamont Pass. So, I'll at least get a glimpse of renewable energy in my resume before my next job.  That'll help if I ever wanna go back to college.

Thursday night, Annie and I are heading up to Tahoe for Super Bowl Weekend.  I'll be rooting for NFC North for 2 reasons: they're representing the same division the Bears are in, and they're not the Steelers.

Let's hope that February will be the month that everything straightens out,
~RoB