Edwin's Last Straw

If you don't remember Edwin & Eloise, then you should familiarize yourself with their disgusting, voyeuristic habits.  Well, it looked like things were the same this year.  Walking around at night, haunting the denizens of the full Tahoe house over Xmas break.  Business as usual.

They were at least nice enough to keep their waking-hour discretions in the guest room this year.

Not that they are any less demonic, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to finding Eloise's jokes mildly amusing after a 46 oz margarita at the local Mexican restaurant.

She didn't seem to find me half-shabby this year, either.  Probably all of the red wine.  Next thing you know... Bam!  Makin' babies.

Apparently, Edwin walked in while we were in the middle of doing the nasty.  It's hard to hear anything else going on, if you've ever heard me making whoopie.  But I was awakened by Eloise's screams as she pushed off my heavy, muscular arm and excused herself to the bathroom to clean up the mess I made.

Edwin had apparently been disregarding the rumors that Eloise was sleeping around on him.  The scene that he found solidified what he had heard, and it was too much for him to handle.  It's what the evil fucker deserved anyway.

Happy New Year,
~RoB

2-hour Delay

Growing up in Michigan, we sporadically had 2-hour school delays.

Today, Annie and I woke up late.  We decided we would go to work late (as opposed to completely skipping, which we call a 'snow day').  I immediately felt like I had a 2-hour delay.  It made me laugh.  When I told Annie, she had no clue what I was talking about.

Apparently, 2-hour delays aren't universal.  In Tahoe, if the weather isn't good enough for school when it is supposed to start, then it's just not good enough.  Classes canceled.  In Michigan, we have fog, or ice, or sub-zero temperatures that can go away fast enough that 2 hours does make a big difference.  Plus, who doesn't want an extra 2 hours in the morning?

This obviously doesn't apply to UofM.  TMD.

Tip: don't go back to sleep.  It's always the first impulse.  Let's be honest, though.  You're up, your circadian rhythm has finished its cycle, and the rest of your day's schedule didn't change, so you were ready to wake up and deal with a full day.  Enjoy 2 hours of nothing.  (This morning, I caught up on dishes.)  The rest of your day is going to feel super quick anyway, so don't dread!

I do remember the one time in high school where I didn't hear about the delay.  I showed up to school, pretty much by myself.  I sat in Senior Hall and read a book for two hours.  It was geek wonderland.  (I probably got bonus points from the English department... somebody had to have noticed me... very few of you will understand my relationship with the English department in my high school.)

Here's to 2-hour delays, even though we're big kids now!
~RoB

It's February!!

You all know what that means:
BLACK HISTORY MONTH!!!
Well, that's true, but that's actually not what I was thinking.

On Valentine's Day, 1985, when my stripper-named mother was eating a nice dinner with her (now ex- ex- ex-...) husband, she was rushed to the hospital in Hattiesburg, Mississippi with labor pains.  I was pooped out the following afternoon at 1pm.  My original last name was Henderson, but I was adopted by my mother's future (now ex- ex-...?) husband, making my last name Reed.

Robert Reed, the actor who played the father in The Brady Bunch, who died from complications due to HIV.  Awesome.  Robert was shortened to Rob in 6th grade.  There were like 5 Roberts in my class.  (Real unique name in the mid-80's, Mom.)  One kid grabbed Bobby, and I went for Rob.  I honestly don't remember how ~RoB came along.  I think I typed it accidentally one day at the bottom of my emails, and I liked it.  I've used it ever since.

Anyway, Annie made awesome plans for us to stay at a B&B in Downtown Napa the weekend before my birthday to drink a ton of wine.  That's a birthday!!

Tomorrow I have an interview at PowerWorks, the company in charge of the windmills in the Altamont Pass. So, I'll at least get a glimpse of renewable energy in my resume before my next job.  That'll help if I ever wanna go back to college.

Thursday night, Annie and I are heading up to Tahoe for Super Bowl Weekend.  I'll be rooting for NFC North for 2 reasons: they're representing the same division the Bears are in, and they're not the Steelers.

Let's hope that February will be the month that everything straightens out,
~RoB

Edwin & Eloise

Meet Edwin & Eloise.

It's a tradition in Annie's family that all the girls take off the day after Christmas and spend the day shopping.  They go around trying to take advantage of 50% off all the crap that's left after the holiday shopping season.  Two years ago, Annie's mom walked back in with Edwin & Eloise, the evil, possessed, stuffed deer that spend the nights walking around and whispering cruel things in my ear.

This year, Annie's house was so packed with people that we had to spend a few nights on her living room floor next to Edwin & Eloise.  I kept covering them with clothes so that they wouldn't be hovering over me while I slept.  Several times, the clothes were removed before the next morning.  This was the first solid proof that I had that these screwed up stuffed dolls were alive.  Nobody believed me.

Finally, a few days ago, I returned by myself to find them doing the nasty.  So, I snapped a few pics on my iPhone in hopes of once, and for all, proving to the world that these demon deer should be destroyed!

Other than that, my life remains a whirlwind, though Tahoe was a nice break.  I've applied to 17 jobs so far, and I have at least 6 more to apply to today.  I've spoken on the phone to a lab that plans on giving me an offer before the end of the week.  I am also meeting with a tutoring company tomorrow.  So, things are moving on that front.

Granny ended up back in the hospital, ICU specifically.  Today she was moved out of ICU, but things don't sound well.  I'm considering flying back home next week to spend some time.  Maybe seeing me will help her along, cuz I am her favorite person in the world.  My cousin (my age) just ended up in the same hospital for thyroid problems.  What's going on people???

I took a skating (type of skiing) lesson up at Tahoe, and it's something that I'd like to try a few more times.  I regularly stride when I'm cross-country skiing up there, but learning the faster and more modern style could be fun.  I'm considering doing the Great Ski Race in March, which is a 30k race.  We'll see if I'm in good enough shape by then.  I'm playing tennis with an old friend today, so that's a start.

That's enough for today.  It's hard to blog in Tahoe, but I should have a few consistent days of it this week before I return to L.A. to get the last of my stuff!

Still scared to fart,
~RoB

Continue to Fall Apart

First of all, I'm wearing my sexy boxers.  It's not even a special occasion.

I've spent the last hour trying to get Annie started on a blog.  She's jealous of the overnight popularity of mine.  We spent the whole time trying to come up with a name for hers, which led to me damn near falling asleep before getting to write this for you.  (Name was never decided and she's already given up.)

Yesterday, after assembling a MULLIG from IKEA to put in Annie's room for some of my stuff, we packed and drove up to Tahoe.  Along the way, Annie got off at the wrong exit for In-n-Out.  She furiously defended that a Subway had taken the spot of a previous In-n-Out, before getting off at the next exit to find the In-n-Out she had originally been in search of.  If a guy does that, he's a neanderthal that doesn't ask for directions.  A girl does it and it's a simple mistake.  "They have the same curved brick things at the turnaround!"

As of today, I've applied to 15 jobs on Craigslist.  No return emails.  I'm not ready to move to monster.com or anything for serious jobs yet.  They continue to be wine or tutoring related.  Random real jobs and food things have been thrown in, too.  Annie's dad asked me what my plan was at Happy Hour this evening.  I've got nothing... "Mooch off your daughter?"

Those of you following might think I've temporarily lost my mind.  Sometimes I wonder the same thing.  The first few days of this new journey certainly haven't made me more sane.  Today, my body decided to follow my brain off a cliff.  Annie took off to downhill ski all day, and left me home alone.  I had a pounding headache and decided to shovel the driveway to get some much needed physical activity.  When I was hungry enough I came back inside and made myself some fried turkey sandwiches.  I was in my room deciding between a shower and returning to my shoveling duties when it happened.

I shit my pants.  Not a lot; just a dribble.  Nonetheless, I shit my pants.  There's debate rather or not the turkey was bad, or I may have been super dehydrated, but the end result doesn't change the fact that, though I just wanted to relieve a little pressure in my crampy stomach, I shit my pants.  Seriously.  Annie, you check the washer for my wet shorts (I immediately washed them in the sink).

You can only laugh if you've never, ever in your life had it happen to you.
~RoB