Friday, March 4, 2011

10-Year High School Reunion

Much like good mnemonics for my name, I regularly contemplate my 10-Year High School Reunion.  I think that it was one of the motivators toward getting a PhD, though just a small voice way in the back of my brain.

10 years after high school, everything is supposed to be figured out.  You return to your hometown and meet up in your crappy, old cafeteria (decorated just as shitty as you remember your homecomings being).  Everyone is supposed to look older and talk about their husbands and wives and kids.  People talk about their college life, and their careers, and where they've traveled.  Rather you've made it in life or not is pretty much nailed down that night.

Had I stayed on the PhD track, it's likely I would have had it before my 10 year reunion.  Now, I obviously will not.  Should it really matter all that much?  Do I really need that stupid piece of paper to substantiate how much better I am than all of those people?  In all that time I wasted on school, I didn't actually collect all of those tokens on the LIFE board that I should have by now.  I mean, I could go back and actually be making less than some of those grease monkeys that just worked continuously after failing out of high school.  How the fuck am I supposed to get voted 'most successful' like that?

I also expect everyone to show up fat.  I actually pray that all the pretty people show up weighing in at 300+ pounds.  I don't want to be another on that tally.  When I graduated (valedictorian), I weighed in at a whopping 170 lbs, which is damn sexy.  (There's never been any help for my face, so we'll just use weight as a metric of sexiness.)  Since then, I've been as large as 235 lbs.  Not so sexy.  Now, I hover somewhere around 215 lbs.  I'm more than confident that I could drop 25 pounds or so, but I've been saying that for a few years now, and I'm not getting any younger.

I can't believe that I ever think of it, but I do so regularly that it blows my mind.

On a good note, I only trust 1.5 of my class officers, so I guess I shouldn't even worry about it.  It probably won't even happen.  Or it will happen at Denny's, so the fatties have somewhere to rest their oxygen tanks while they drink small bowls of ranch dressing.

Wow, I must have really hated high school,


  1. I have to ask: who are our class officers? Oh...and I will not be showing up fat. ;-)


  2. I can't imagine that you're the only one who has some of these feelings... Especially the 'pretty' people showing up fat!! LOL

    Not that it means much, but I would consider you to be highly successful. Not many people even consider going for their PhD, let alone actually start the PhD program. And I'm sure you'll finish.

  3. To be honest, I'd be surprised if my class had any HS reunions at all... and I'm ok with that. :)

    Hoping to start my masters in the fall. PhD programs scare me. Keep up the solid work!