Awkward Palm Tree

I can't stand awkward moments in TV or movies.  Which is kind of funny, because I take pleasure in making people feel awkward in real life.

I also like to exaggerate real-life awkward situations and try to make them more awkward by highlighting them and throwing up the Awkward Palm Tree.  I was surprised to find out that one of my Michigan friends just learned about the Awkward Turtle.  That's so yesterday.  All the west coast kids throw up the Awkward Palm Tree:

[I think the symbol originates from In-N-Out.]  (Yes, you can see my purple nipples through my undershirt.)

See.  Doesn't that face and those arms just make things feel awkward, even though nothing has happened yet?

I can't stand awkward moments on TV.  I primarily gave up The Office because it started to suck, but feeling pain when people are awkward was a little part of it.  If I'm laying in bed watching some cheesy teen movie or show where the nerdy guy is about to ask the cute girl out, I'm probably covering my face.  I wanted to walk out of Bridesmaids during the engagement party scene, even though it was funny.  When people start breaking down on TV (Gaga and Marko last night on SYTYCD), I'll usually find some reason to leave the room.  I was very excited to find out that my college roommate is the exact same way.  Maybe it is us awkward guys that are so sensitive to it.

Now that you know, learn how to protect yourself.  Start practicing the awkward palm tree.
~RoB

Container Store

I walked into the Container Store for the first time today.  Annie had been shopping around online for solutions to her shoe predicament.  She came across some things from the Container Store that she got really excited about.  So, we drove 30 mins to Walnut Creek to find one.

The Container Store is the most ridiculous store I've ever been in.  Wrapping paper getting out of hand?  How about a wrapping paper organizer!  Been looking for shoe racks/shelves/hooks?  We've got aisles of 'em!  'You won't be able to Contain Yourself!'

I was surrounded by millions of pretty boxes, 5 fat cashiers, and 2 gay guys.  I felt like someone there should have burped up a purse like Kurt on gLee.  Meanwhile, Annie is running around like a sugar-high toddler in an orange grove.  At one point she dropped a heavy box off to me, then I saw her head poke out of a few aisles from across the store, as she gallivanted around finding things she suddenly needed.  We showed up for 2 things, and they didn't have one of them.  We still spent an hour there.  Awesome.

Also, we were apparently bickering in front of our other roommate this evening.  So much so that our roommate asked Annie if she was ok after I went out to jog with Angel.  It's funny that I don't even notice when we're going at it anymore.  It's a hobby.  First thing wrong: Annie is the mean one.  People should be checking my feelings after we argue.  Second thing wrong: we've been dating forever, so we are fully aware of everything that's wrong with each other.  We point it out regularly.  Nothing is for serious.  We reserve door-slamming, yelling, and crying for real fights.

I only wore an undershirt for my short run, but the nips were burning again,
~RoB

Nothing is Simple

I've said for a long time that my life is interesting.  I guess most of that is due to its complicatedness (word?).  Yesterday is a good example:

My car tire had been slowly losing air over the past month.  Since I didn't have the dough to fix it, I just let it go flat.  Yesterday, I got some dough.  So, I went out to my car to put on the donut, in hopes of simply dropping it off at a nearby tire place to get fixed.  While kicking my tire iron to get the last lug nut off, I actually busted the stud in half.

Shit.  $15 tire change turns into a major ordeal.  First of all, I could only find 3 places that would fix it.  The first place had a reasonable price, but couldn't get me in for 2 more days.  The second place gave me an AMAZING quote, so I ran out the door to get there before they forgot about how AMAZING the quote was they just gave me.  By the time I got there, they put it together that the AMAZING quote was just for fixing the flat.  No stud included.  Damn you.

I returned to my car to call the 3rd place.  Kim Jong-il answered the phone (or at least the South Park equivalent).  His quote was even better than the first guy's, so I drove straight over there.  I didn't want to deal with it anymore, so I just gave him my keys and left.  I ran downtown to meet Annie for lunch.  When I got back 90 minutes later, everything was fixed.  Plus, he charged me half what the second place quoted as a 'base price' (which we all know that's 1/2 what a mechanic will actually charge you).

So, a simple leaky tire turned into a day-long tribulation.  At least that keeps things interesting.

I saw a few interesting things in Oakland throughout this whole thing.  First of all, look up Michael Mischer Chocolates in Oakland.  Zoom into it on Maps until you can see what's directly next door.  Unfair, right?  The street view helps, but it's hard to read the chocolate sign.

Similarly, you should check out street view at 1940 Broadway, in Oakland.

Undershirts have helped my nipples, but then I get too hot,
~RoB

Raw Nipples

I just jogged Lake Merritt with Angel.  It's our goal to be able to run the whole thing in consecutive days.  I've ran 5Ks before, but never within the same week (or month, even).

When I came home and walked into my kitchen for water, I lifted up my shirt to wipe my sweaty face.  It made me realize how raw my nipples were.  I think it was a combination of them being hard from the cold and exercise, and the design of the high school tennis shirt I ran in.

DIETY...
Raw, painful nipples were a regular occurrence during my ballroom dance competitions.  Tight, heavily starched shirts rubbing against sweaty, erect nipples makes for an irritating situation.  On more than one occurrence I had to unbutton my shirt beside the dance floor and apply bandaids to my large, purple-y nipples.  It was more awkward when I asked my ballroom coaches for advice.  They recommended Body Glide.  Rubbing vaseline on your nipples before putting a shirt on is almost worse than raw, painful nipples.

I feel like the lake is going to be inspiration for a lot of my best posts,
~RoB