New Year's Resolutions

New Year's Resolutions are stupid.  I can't think of a single one that I've stuck to.  Here is my list of 3 simple NYRs for 2010 (which I posted in a note on Facebook in December 2009):

1. Put my clean laundry away the same day that I do it.
2. Six day work weeks at school.
3. Do not charge anything to credit cards.
Each of these, individually, could really help my life. If I manage to do all three, I should be a clean, debt-free Dr. Rob in no time at all!

I honestly don't think I succeeded at any of those through the entire month of January.  I had charged things by January 15th.  I started living out of my laundry basket after my birthday (February 15th), and I dropped out of school in December...

I think NYRs are so stupid that I didn't even attempt them in 2011, but I will try them again now.  Since Schoolhouse Rock taught me that 3 is the magic number, here goes:

1. Blog at least twice a month.  (Or give up blogging entirely.  There's really only one or the other at this point.)
2. Save 10% of the money that I make.  (I've tried this several times throughout my life, and I've failed miserably every time.  I'm genetically trained to live paycheck-to-paycheck.  However, I have to start learning to save, or I'll have to work until I die.)
3. Find a job where I'm making a significant portion of the household income.  (I've had a sweet deal with Annie for a while.  I think she's had enough of it.  She hasn't complained once, but I think she's ready to share finances instead of being solely responsible for them.)

So, here goes.  We'll know by January 15th if I've failed the first one...

It's amazing how much that single video has stuck with me my whole life,

~RoB

Hella Occupy Herbstreit

First of all, I am pretty sure that most of my blog readers are not Californians.  So, I have to explain something. In northern California (the good part... sorry L.A. folks), if you want to emphasize a verb (or adverb), you don't just say "really, really".  Or "uber".  You say "hella".

"I hella love chocolate."

Yes, it sounds ridiculous.  No, I don't actually say it.  However, the FREE 'Hella Occupy Oakland' poster prints that they were distributing last night at Occupy Oakland were pretty awesome.  So I thought I'd give a shout out.

On another note, I've been reading tons of blogs since I started blogging.  The whole subculture of bloggers and blogs is pretty addicting once you find some really good ones and become one yourself.  (Not that I'm a really good one, but I enjoy my blog very much.  Or I wouldn't put so much time into it.)

These two topics are related, in that my current favorite blog (which Annie found) is Occupy Herbstreit.  I hella like it.  It's really just a tumblr site, but I'm pretty sure it counts.  Here are some of the gems from that blog:

Forgive student loans & B1G game performances.

This economy intentionally sucks so it can draft Luck.

Since Annie and I are simultaneously granola eatin' liberals and sports geeks, this was the first Occupy movement that inspired us to participate.  So, we braved the tear gas and police brutality.  We went out to Occupy Oakland to add our voices.

Corso needs the mascot's head of the next Great Depression!!

Oakland picks bad mayors as often as Dr. Lou picks Notre Dame

Annie Occupying Herbstreit

So, that's that.  When we grow up, we can proudly tell our children how we fought the good fight.  We smelled the Occupy movement, and it smelled like cigarettes and homeless people.  I'm not gonna lie, there were a significant number of skinny jeans there, too.

We sent our pics off to the Occupy Herbstreit blog.  Here's to hoping that they're included.  If not, we'll just consider them our first Halloween costumes of the weekend.  *Update: they were included!*

ESPN Gameday is ending as these last words are being written.  Michigan is about to steamroll the Boilermakers.  We were happy to be two more lost Gameday fans Occupying Oakland.  #StandWithOakland

Go Blue!
~RoB

I'm Popular!

There are wildly successful blogs out there.  Hyperbole & 1/2 is the first to come to mind (though she's been slacking as the whole book deal comes through).  There are blogs that have been going for years.  Blogs with tens of thousands of followers.  I'm fairly new to blogs.  I didn't read or follow any until I started one.  Then, much like when you first start playing a successful video game, the reason everyone has been into them becomes apparent.  It's actually overwhelming for a budding blogger who feels like he has a voice that hasn't been overdone yet, but wonders if all of this writing will ever be noticed by people beyond his Facebook friends.

Yesterday, when I logged in, Blogger at least gave me one small ounce of satisfaction that what I'm doing may work.  Blogger told me to keep thinking the way I do, and to keep baring my uncensored thoughts to the general public.  Blogger told me this by calling my blog something that I've never been called before:  popular.

Yes, I realize that it is just a ploy for people that make money from this to make more money.  However, this hasn't happened before.  I like to think that it is due to the number of people that have been reading my blog lately.  I'm on track to break 3,000 pageviews for the month of August.  I regularly consider adding some sort of money-making features to my blog, but I'm not desperate yet.  The day it happens, I will apologize, but I will probably do it nonetheless.

When I started this blog, I figured that it would be something that Annie and I would read, comment on, and it would be another fad that I would forget about in a few months.  What if I was meant to be a blogger, though?  What if I am a good story teller, or I can become one through practice?  What if this is my way of being popular?  (Too bad I didn't have any way of being popular in college...)  Ha, popular...

Thank you, K-chen, for putting that into perspective.
And thank you, readers, for making me feel popular,
~RoB

Return to Tailspin

It turns out that I may not be going to NY any more.  It also turns out that I have way more emotional problems than was once thought.  Why?  Given the opportunity, I've reverted immediately back to 'What the fuck am I doing with my life?'-mode.

For those of you that have been reading since the beginning, you have some idea of the chaos that was my life at the beginning of this year.  (Quitting school, peeing in bottles while driving, pooping myself, constant angst [go back to January and enjoy those posts]).  On Wednesday, Annie got a call that was supposed to solidify our plans in moving back east.  The call didn't go so well, and now it doesn't make sense for Annie to leave her current job.  So, she's likely staying in the Bay Area.

I am trying to settle on the fact that I no longer want to not be with Annie and Angel, so I'm planning on giving up the job I was offered in Schenectady.  It is not going to be easy, since it may complicate (or outright impede) any future attempts of getting a security clearance.  Also, I signed something, though I can't find it, so I can't wait to hear what the stipulations are for backing out.  Career search starts over, and now I return to the constant feeling of impending doom (at least I have a small income right now).

Why is being a real person so difficult and depressing?  (Real person means not-a-student, though grad school in L.A. was certainly difficult and depressing.)  I should just go back to UCLA and stick it out.

I can't go back to UCLA...

O.M.G.
~RoB

There's No Line...

... cuz I stole it, bitches!

Exactly one month ago, I started this blog.  It has been everything I needed:

• a way to connect to all of my peeps that I don't really talk to all that often (I hate phones!)
• a therapeutic journal documenting my currently chaotic life
• an artistic outlet that works on my writing so that I can publish a book one day
• a way to work on my comedic punchlines

I had over 2000 pageviews in January.  I'm hoping I can double that in February.  Facebook and Twitter are my only means of spreading the word.  If you enjoy this blog, feel free to pass it along to people that aren't already talking about it.  Not that I think it's all that amazing yet, but I truly think that my raw, line-crossing writing could be appealing to a lot of people (even if they don't really wanna talk about it).

If you have ideas that would make this blog better, or topics you'd like me to discuss, hit me up.  Nothing is too taboo, and I hope I can make the mundane insane!  I tried the DIETY segment, and I don't doubt that I'll continue it, but there's certainly room for more ideas.

Plus, smack-dab in the middle of this month lies my 26th birthday, so pass it on as a little digital present to me.

Here's to February,
~RoB

Continue to Fall Apart

First of all, I'm wearing my sexy boxers.  It's not even a special occasion.

I've spent the last hour trying to get Annie started on a blog.  She's jealous of the overnight popularity of mine.  We spent the whole time trying to come up with a name for hers, which led to me damn near falling asleep before getting to write this for you.  (Name was never decided and she's already given up.)

Yesterday, after assembling a MULLIG from IKEA to put in Annie's room for some of my stuff, we packed and drove up to Tahoe.  Along the way, Annie got off at the wrong exit for In-n-Out.  She furiously defended that a Subway had taken the spot of a previous In-n-Out, before getting off at the next exit to find the In-n-Out she had originally been in search of.  If a guy does that, he's a neanderthal that doesn't ask for directions.  A girl does it and it's a simple mistake.  "They have the same curved brick things at the turnaround!"

As of today, I've applied to 15 jobs on Craigslist.  No return emails.  I'm not ready to move to monster.com or anything for serious jobs yet.  They continue to be wine or tutoring related.  Random real jobs and food things have been thrown in, too.  Annie's dad asked me what my plan was at Happy Hour this evening.  I've got nothing... "Mooch off your daughter?"

Those of you following might think I've temporarily lost my mind.  Sometimes I wonder the same thing.  The first few days of this new journey certainly haven't made me more sane.  Today, my body decided to follow my brain off a cliff.  Annie took off to downhill ski all day, and left me home alone.  I had a pounding headache and decided to shovel the driveway to get some much needed physical activity.  When I was hungry enough I came back inside and made myself some fried turkey sandwiches.  I was in my room deciding between a shower and returning to my shoveling duties when it happened.

I shit my pants.  Not a lot; just a dribble.  Nonetheless, I shit my pants.  There's debate rather or not the turkey was bad, or I may have been super dehydrated, but the end result doesn't change the fact that, though I just wanted to relieve a little pressure in my crampy stomach, I shit my pants.  Seriously.  Annie, you check the washer for my wet shorts (I immediately washed them in the sink).

You can only laugh if you've never, ever in your life had it happen to you.
~RoB

Bacon-Wrapped & Blog Goggles

Too soon?  I don't really know the rules for how many times I can post in one day.  I'm kinda excited for this blog thing, though.  Technically, it's a new day anyway.

I drank a fair bit at Bigfoot West tonight.  Happy Birthday, Melinda!  Then I drove home.  Bad habit... eat me... they teach us bad things in the Midwest.  Anyway, in between I had 3 servings of the wonderful Venice Blvd creations that are: bacon-wrapped hot dogs.  An older Mexican lady stands in front of the carcineria (?) b/w S&S and Bigfoot selling her delicious wieners.  I get 'em with everything: grilled onions, ketchup, mustard, relish, mayo, and a grilled jalapeno.  I know, right?  $3 each.  Awesome.

So, blogger.com should have something similar to google's gmail goggles, where I have to do math riddles in order to post after midnight on weekend-nights.  I'd call it blog goggles.  It might help to avoid times like this when I might not be capable of  being witty.

Finally, I tried not to tell a single friend about my current predicament.  Sorry.  I have big problems personally asking for help, and I really didn't want to ruin Melinda's night.  Anyway, I came home after Xmas break to a flooded, moldy, and mildewy room.  Considering that it was the second time this has happened in the shithole apartment I live in, and the fact that I've been considering leaving UCLA for years, it just seemed like a good sign for me to flee La La Land.  I have to get up in 6 hours to let in the roach killers, cuz my apartment is awesome.  These were just the final straws that convinced me to go flop on my girlfriend's couch for the next few months as I figure out where I can get a job.  Let's hope this goes easier than it probably will.  What?  Whatever.

Go Blue.
~RoB

Real Life Starts Now

Today, I broke my lease to my apartment in Los Angeles.  Immediately afterward, I emailed my faculty advisor at UCLA, and notified him that I was dropping out of school.  This blog is going to help me keep track of my experiences as I learn what it is to be a real person.  I've been a student continuously since kindergarten.

I have plenty of things to complain about, and I probably have some good stories to tell.  I expect that I'll cross the line every now and then.  If you know me, you know that's how I usually roll anyway.  For years my digital signature has been '~RoB'.

From now on, stepping over that awkward social boundary will be RoB-ing the Line.  Tell your friends.  Enjoy.
robbingtheline.blogspot.com

~RoB