Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Funny Lookin' Baby

At this point in my life, I don't really want kids.  However, I'd be lying if I said my stance against having children wasn't weakening a little.  A few things scare me, though.

Aren't you nervous you're going to have a funny looking child?  It'd be rough.  Half of my friends on Facebook have kids and keep posting pictures of them.  Let's be real, they're all not cute.  Some are straight-up funny looking.  (White kids are weird looking.)  I don't intend to soften up my opinions for my child any more than I do on this blog.  (Well, maybe a little for the first 9 years or so.  After that, a life of cynicism!)  So, if my boy is being an asshole, or if my girl needs to wash her hair, or if my 'other' has a giant nose, they'll be told so.  I only sugar coat my desserts, but you all know that.

Even scarier, and a conversation I've actually had with Annie, is, 'What if they're not smart?'  That'd be pretty rough, too.  I can deal with ugly.  I've dealt with being funny looking my whole life.  However, I can't really deal with stupid.  I truly believe that to some degree, everyone made decisions that influenced how smart they are now.  Those that had the motivation to work a little harder and pay a little more attention in class and actually go home and do their homework (sometimes at the expense of a social life), are the ones that are labeled 'smart' in our society.  That's all I'm asking for.  I don't expect something to come out and be gifted with some of those traits that make being 'exceptionally intelligent' easy.  Would they be able to deal with living up to my expectations?

Oh my god, what if they have serious problems?  I'm a good person (when I'm not blogging), but could I deal with a child in a wheelchair their whole life, or severe mental/physical disabilities?  I've heard that you shouldn't decide to have a baby unless you are ready to deal with a child like that, as a metric of where you are in your life, but I just don't know that I'd be able to deal with that.  If saying that makes me awful, then you are a hypocrite for thinking it and judging me for saying it.

Anyway, keep posting pictures of your awkward toddlers, and I'll continue judging your family.

Karma's probably coming up with a fitting punishment for this post,

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