Sangria & Super Commercials

If there was a flavor that took me immediately back to the highest point of my life, it would have to be Sangria from Dominick's in Ann Arbor.  Annie and I decided to look up recipe clones and try one for the Super Bowl party we were going to yesterday.  It turned out really well.

Well, better than well.  I started drinking at about 11am.  The only thing I had eaten by the time Annie drove us over to the party, was a roll of Ritz and a few gummy tummies from TJs.  But I had drank almost 1/2 L of the homemade Sangria.  I was a hot mess, and it was like 2pm.  No better way to pregame for the Super Bowl, right?

I've recently heard that the new cool thing to do is just learn proportions instead of recipes.  Then, you can make as much or as little as you want.  So I'll do that and let you know exactly what I used.  It's not perfect, but it is so damn close that I'll never try another recipe.  Dominick's Sangria everywhere I go now!!

1 part Brandy.  I used Christian Brothers Very Smooth.
3 parts Cranberry Schnapps.  I used Dekuyper.
6 parts Concord grape wine.  I used Prodigy, a local Kentucky wine.
16 parts cheap, Red table Wine.  I used Riunite Lambrusco Emilia.
Sliced up citrus fruits.  We used 2 limes, 1 lemon, 2 naval oranges, and one cara cara orange.

So, if you use 4 cups of red table wine, then you would use 1/4 cup of brandy, and so on.  Typically you're thinking about wine in terms of bottles or liters.  Did I mention how perfect it was?!  Thank you so much swirlspice!

Aside from the Sangria, we brought the same guacamole and Asian Zing Ritz from last year's Super Bowl party.  I was rooting for the Patriots.  They lost.  I spent most of the time playing board games anyway.  That being said, here are my top 3 Super Bowl XLVI (2012) commercials in order:

 1. Naked M&Ms

 2. Dog gettin' swol'

 3. Clint Eastwood's shoutout to Detroit.  I own a 2007 Dodge Caliber, my grandpa works for Chrysler, and I know all kinds of people in the auto industry who've been struggling, so this hit home.

 Hope your Super Bowl Sunday was filled with food and friends, and slightly blurry,
~RoB

Off the Ground

I dropped a gummy bear on my kitchen floor, and I immediately picked it up and popped it in my mouth.  It made me realize that I'd eat most things off of the ground.  It reminded me of a drunken time at the Rose Bowl where I pulled a fallen Jello shot out of the dirt and straw and shoved it in my pie hole.  It was more dirt and straw than Jello, and I gnawed on it like a cow, but I managed.

Though this isn't an extensive list, it is a collection of those things that I would immediately eat off of the ground without any consideration:

• Gummy Bears
• Bagel Bites
• Gummy Worms
• Pizza Rolls
• Sweethearts born before 2010 (they got shitty last year)
• Charles Chocolates' Orange Twigs (went out of business, so I'd scrape it off if it was squished)
• Jello Shots, apparently
• Sixlets
• Just about anything else that's sweet

I do know that both a wasabi pea and a savory rice cracker spent a significant amount of time (read: months) on the floor of my office without being eaten.  I'm looking at the savory rice cracker as I write this.

Oh, apparently the 5 Second Rule is bullshit, but fuck science.  Who eats bologna anyway?  Hell, who has carpet?  Eating bacteria keeps you strong and your body's defenses vigilant.  I say that without any actual knowledge.

Anyway, in payment for my vacation and the sporadic posting that 3 weddings in the next 5 weeks (as well as football season) will force, you should make and eat this (not on the floor): a Cookie Dough Pie.

This is what it looked like when I made it. Get your own! (Couldn't be easier.)

Happy to be back,
~RoB

Happy 69th Birthday, Granny

For those readers who have followed along since the beginning (I thank you), you are well aware that Granny has had a rough year.  She's been the inspiration of most of my best true stories, so I'm glad she pulled through.  She landed in the hospital on Xmas Day with a leg infection, which led to lung cancer diagnoses, which led to a bad incident at home when she was released, which dragged her back to the hospital, which led to a stroke, which led to possible lung cancer diagnosis on the other lung (ended up being negative), which led to living in a rehab facility, which finally led to her being home after 3 months of rotating in and out of hospitals and facilities.

For a while, she was a little difficult to talk to on the phone.  These days she sounds amazing.  For the first time since I've known her, she isn't drinking or smoking.  She says she's eating more than she's ever remembered, and she's slowly gaining back all the weight she lost.  She still has to use a walker, and steps are extremely difficult, but she's still around and doing better and better, and we're happy to celebrate the big 69!

In keeping this post all warm and cozy, I thought I would brag about the Mothers' Day Brunch Menu that cooked yesterday for Annie's mom, grandfather, and her grandfather's lady-friend:

Lemon Brioche French Toast & Minted Raspberries

Veggie Eggs Benedict w/ Tomatoes & Avocados

Strawberry Shortcake w/ Homemade Whipped Cream

You need to try the recipe for the lemon french toast casserole.  Quite easy, and it was really, really good.  I used challah.  The hollandaise sauce was made fresh from Julia Child's cookbook.  (The first batch curdled when I was trying to keep it warm since the guests were running late).  The challah, sourdough english muffins, and the sponge cups in the shortcake were the only things that weren't made from scratch.  The shortcake cups were the only things that weren't spectacular.  Big secret: splash of balsamic vinegar in the strawberries!

Enjoy eating and your family, and count this as the good karma post to make up for most of my others,
~RoB

30 by 30 #1-5

I've heard of a few blogs posting lists like this, and I think it's a great idea.  Below I'll list (and check off) 30 things that I would like to do before I'm 30 years old.  I don't have great ideas for all 30 yet, so I'll be posting it in increments of 5.  I'd be happy to hear what you think (you can add comments or Tweet me ideas @roberree #30by30)!

30 by 30
1. Travel outside of the U.S.
2. Read Moby Dick (may be replaced by another classic).
3. Take a singing lesson to find out if there's any hope.
4. Learn how to make crepes.
5. Weigh less than 200 lbs.

Here's to getting the things you always wanted,
~RoB

The Thought That Counts

You've heard the old adage "It's the thought that counts!"  Is it really?  Really?

Today, I brought some experimental S'mores Bars to work that looked amazing on a food blog someone had in their Google chat status.  It's one coworkers last day, and I thought it would be cool to bring in delicious cookies.  (They look like food porn on that link, right?)

Well, my oven apparently cooks hot and they got a little over-cooked.  They're not awful, but they're not amazing.  (I also didn't double the recipe and had to wing the top crust, but that's totally on me.)  As I was deciding between bringing them or just stuffing them in my face by myself in a dark corner of my kitchen later tonight, I caught myself thinking "well, it's the thought that counts."  Then, I called bull$h*t!  (A few more weeks of lent before we return to my unedited language).

It's NOT the thought that counts.  That saying was clearly made by people who purchase $h*tty presents and need to feel better about themselves.  The seed for this thought was planted last night while I was purchasing the S'mores Bars ingredients at a grocery store.  Someone reached in front of me to grab one of these:

(not the old lady, a gift card)

If you have come to the point of gift buying and you have no ideas, do not grab one of these "I thought of you while I was buying diapers at the grocery store" gift cards.  These are the sleaziest merchandise to have taken over our stores.  Multiply that by 10 if you are buying somebody digital credits for Farmville or anything like that.  At least give cash or a check for spending without having to do it where you decided on a thoughtless whim.  (Plus that lets me know exactly how much you spent, so I don't have to price my presents online after I open them.)

Here's a hint, ASK people what they want.  For as long as I can remember, my aunt has always bought me the best Xmas presents, even though we rarely see each other.  How?  She asks me, specifically, what I want.  I know, it takes some of the surprise out of it, but the surprise of getting a crappy present isn't a good surprise.  If you are really close to someone (like how I can read Annie's mind), then feel free to surprise them.  Unless you live with her, you don't know every one of your mom's interests this year.  Maybe she's really thinking about that iPad-thingy, and you had no idea.

Anyway, in terms of spontaneous gifts (like cookies for a coworkers last day), I decided to bring them.  I'll admit that they're over-cooked.  However, I will not say 'it's the thought...'.  Don't want 'em?  Screw you, I'll eat 'em!  I guess I should just give more gifts that I'd be happy to keep...

Step up your game, gift-givers,
~RoB

Food & Sex

I'm always the moody one.  I have really severe mood swings sometimes.  I even spent a few sessions with a psychologist exploring rather or not I am bipolar (I took an online quiz through my medical center, and it said to do just that).  I'm pretty good at controlling myself in public, but I usually let it fly when I'm home.  Two things are the reasons for 90%+ of my tantrums: food & sex.  If I'm deprived of either for too long, I turn into a monster.  I'd like to say that it happens slowly, but that'd be a lie.  Something clicks, and I crave misery in every human being around me.  I've never actually been violent or anything, but I certainly have crazy scenarios flashing in my head.  Wow, that sounds so sociopathic (word?), I should probably delete it.

Last night, Annie pulled one on me.  Driving home from TJ's, I hit a turn that knocked over our single bag of groceries, that she had just paid for.  A carton of eggs topped the bag, and she was infuriated at my inability to either pack it securely or drive appropriately.  She was convinced the eggs were broken, and she got all Italian on me: yelling, hand motions going crazy, slamming the door, general craziness.  When she got out, I drove away and left her in the rain.  (I had the keys, since I was driving.)

I got mad at her anger, and it only got worse as I realized that she snapped... just like I do sometimes.  There's absolutely no room for introspection in this damn blog, so here's a crazy simple cake recipe, passed down from Annie's grandfather's lady-friend.  I made it yesterday (used up all the eggs), and it was pretty good.

Triple Chocolate Cake
1 pkg Chocolate Cake Mix (I prefer Duncan Hines Devils Food)
1 c Chocolate Chips (Nestle Toll House, as if there were others worth buying)
3.9 oz. pkg Instant Chocolate Pudding (Jell-O)
1/2 c Oil (I use Canola, Safflower, or Olive, in that order)
4 Eggs
1-1/4 c Water (I hold no allegiance to any water)
Bake in a preheated oven at 350 for 40-45 minutes (I did 45 mins).

I served it with Chocolate Cabernet Sauce drizzled over it, making it Quadruple Chocolate Cake, and certainly crossing the threshold of appropriate chocolate consumption.  Crossing lines.  That's what I do.

No eggs were actually harmed in the making of this post; she was wrong,
~RoB

Super Bowl Sunday Food

I've mentioned I'm a little bit of a foodie.  I like to consider myself a budding chef.  I cook a lot for Annie (I told her that she should have a segment on her blog called "Things Rob Puts in My Mouth".  She didn't think that was an appropriate food segment title.)  Anyway, in celebration of the big day, I thought I'd let you all in on my menu:

The day started off with Monte Cristos: thick-sliced bacon with cream cheese and Mary Ellen's pure boysenberry jam on two thick slices of french toast, freshly sliced from a large french loaf.  My french toast egg-wash is made with eggs, buttermilk, vanilla, and cinnamon.  After the sandwiches were pressed together, I topped them with cinnamon/brown sugar and powdered sugar.  So good!

On the menu for the big game are:

• Spicy/Cheesy Guacamole, a recipe from Tamarindo, Annie's favorite Mexican restaurant in Oakland.
• Chili Cheese Dip: bottom layer of cream cheese, a layer of Hormel No Bean Chili, and top layer of a blend of shredded Mexican cheeses all melted in the oven.  Tortilla chips help scoop this deliciousness in your mouth.  Ritz work, too!
• Speaking of Ritz, we're making two recipes from Guy Fieri's Super Bowl Ritz Recipes.  I was really excited for the southern Chicken 'n Slaw Ritz.
• Annie really wanted to try the Asian Zing Shrimp Ritz.
• Cream Puffs (These are store-bought, frozen, but they're good.  Best with hot fudge and confectioner's sugar.)

I'm sure the food will more than live up to this big day.  I hope you all will get to enjoy great food, too.  Have a good one!

Cheering for the (Fudge) Packers cuz they're not the Steelers, and they're reppin' NFC North,
~RoB

That Damn Cake

I told y'all that I was making a Sweet Potato Cake.  Annie got some yams from the farmers' market last Friday, and I wanted to use them.  I'm on a baking kick right now, and I had never had a cake like that before, so I tried it.

I mixed up the batter (used olive oil instead of vegetable oil to combine 2 favorite savory flavors [yams the 2nd]... like Cupcake Wars!), poured it in the bundt pan, and threw it in a preheated oven.  Since I'm always nervous about homogenous cooking, I threw aluminum foil on the top so that heat was distributed as well as it would be through my thick bundt.  After about 45 minutes, I pulled off the foil so it would brown.  I'm so smart.

The recipe said to bake it for 1h15m, but I only baked it an hour.  Burnt cake sucks, and so does dry cake.  Err on the side of undercooked.  I pulled it out, and pressed on it.  It sprang back.  I considered that good enough.  No toothpick; I am fancy pants after all.

Turns out it tastes good, but it didn't cook thoroughly.  It looks great, but when Annie was eating a piece this morning, she let me know that there's a small layer of batter still hanging out in there.  It's edible, but that pisses me off.

Damn me not letting it go 15 more minutes w/o the foil.

I threw it back in the oven for 25 minutes today.  The outside just got crunchier, but the inside didn't finish cooking.

Did I really apply to be a baker?
~RoB

Life Update (and a package of bacon)

I finally hooked up my computer, and I seem to be over the cold that had me all fucked up this weekend, so expect more of this... at least until I get a job.

Haven't heard much more about granny.  She's currently in a rehab center, which is a step up from the hospital.  She had a small stroke.  Add that to the lung cancer, and now a diagnosis of severe diabetes, and she's surprisingly alive.  Since the last time she went home, she ended up back in ICU, the doctors thought it would be best to have her in a supervised facility before sending her home to rest up for cancer treatment.  My mom is staying there, so it didn't seem logistical to fly there and plug up the house.

One of my favorite people of all time happened to be in town this weekend.  We went out to dinner at Waterbar on Saturday night.  It was so fun to see him and meet his fiance!!  He said they've planned the wedding in Omaha, Nebraska, so I totally want to make it there over Labor Day.  I didn't hear how traveling back to Chicago went, considering the Snowpocalypse, but I hope he's ok!!

I'm pretty much finished cleaning and decorating Annie's apartment.  It's pretty snazzy.  The bathroom, though less functional, is probably my favorite room.  I've also been cooking like crazy: blueberry muffins, monte cristos, vegetarian chili, burgers (2 kinds), and bananas foster were all things that I made from scratch last week (not counting everything else that I cooked that wasn't entirely 'from scratch').  Annie and I polished off a whole package of bacon between Bacon Blue Cheeseburgers and Monte Cristos on Sunday, which I don't even feel guilty about, though it definitely lowered our life expectancies.  I'm planning on making a sweet potato cake tonight, as soon as I grab some eggs from the store.

I emailed out my official counter-offer today, and I didn't get my new, fake ACT scores back yet.

I'll bring the funny later,
~RoB