Thursday, September 1, 2011

Off the Ground

I dropped a gummy bear on my kitchen floor, and I immediately picked it up and popped it in my mouth.  It made me realize that I'd eat most things off of the ground.  It reminded me of a drunken time at the Rose Bowl where I pulled a fallen Jello shot out of the dirt and straw and shoved it in my pie hole.  It was more dirt and straw than Jello, and I gnawed on it like a cow, but I managed.

Though this isn't an extensive list, it is a collection of those things that I would immediately eat off of the ground without any consideration:

  • Gummy Bears
  • Bagel Bites
  • Gummy Worms
  • Pizza Rolls
  • Sweethearts born before 2010 (they got shitty last year)
  • Charles Chocolates' Orange Twigs (went out of business, so I'd scrape it off if it was squished)
  • Jello Shots, apparently
  • Sixlets
  • Just about anything else that's sweet

I do know that both a wasabi pea and a savory rice cracker spent a significant amount of time (read: months) on the floor of my office without being eaten.  I'm looking at the savory rice cracker as I write this.

Oh, apparently the 5 Second Rule is bullshit, but fuck science.  Who eats bologna anyway?  Hell, who has carpet?  Eating bacteria keeps you strong and your body's defenses vigilant.  I say that without any actual knowledge.

Anyway, in payment for my vacation and the sporadic posting that 3 weddings in the next 5 weeks (as well as football season) will force, you should make and eat this (not on the floor): a Cookie Dough Pie.

This is what it looked like when I made it. Get your own! (Couldn't be easier.)

Happy to be back,

1 comment:

  1. I will start by saying, I have eaten something off the ground that was like a M&M or something like a skittle but a jello shot? hahahahah This was a fun reading and on top of it The ending was SWEET!! I will have to pull up this recipe and make this!!