Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Job Interviews

It's my second-to-last day at work, so I'm spending most of my time updating LinkedIn, my resume, and searching for employment in Lexington.  It's really made me think of how awful the interview process is.  If an employer really wants to start to understand me, they should start by not giving me stock questions off the internet.
Interviewer:  Think of one time where you worked in a group and part of the group didn't agree with one of your decisions...
Why shouldn't you?  Because you're asking me to lie to you.
RoB:  In one of my engineering classes, there was an elderly woman who had some mobility problems and clearly wasn't an ideal candidate to be the last member of the group we had just formed.  But against their disagreeing, I asked her to join our group.  I knew her life experiences would pay off in dealing with whatever difficulties getting her might had formed in our group.  Not only was our final project one of the best our professor had ever seen, but it was submitted to a national competition, and we took First Place.
And unicorn farts mixed with fairy dust turned that Google Search of 'common interview questions' into a win.
Interviewer:  How would you deal with a member that's not pulling their fair share of the work?
Honestly, I'd probably just do their work.  Or, I'd split it up between the rest of the group.  Life's too short for me to clearly detail how much of a worthless piece of shit you are, so I'll do what you were supposed to do, and probably better, and we'll move on.  I'll even give you credit for doing your share.  If you can live with yourself, then that's your moral dilemma.  However, any promotions or awards for productivity should immediately be forfeited to me.  Thanks.  Otherwise I may have to light your cat on fire.  You can be worthless behind the scenes, but if you wanna go toe-to-toe in front of everyone, then let's do this shit.
RoB:  First of all, from what I've read about this company, teamwork is ingrained into the corporate structure, so I find it hard to believe that I would ever be faced with this circumstance.  However, for the sake of the possibility, I believe clearly stated objectives and timelines help to move groups along in situations like this.  Rarely does someone not want to pull their fair share.  I believe it's always a result of miscommunication.  Have a meeting every morning with that day's objectives and overall timeline for the project, and if anyone's falling behind, it can be addressed early, before more drastic measures have to be taken.  It gives everyone equal responsibility and a calm pressure on their shoulders from everyone else relying upon them.

Thanks, Kristen, for sending me this last year around this same time.

This has no direct relevance to anything that's happened to me recently.  I just thought of it in the shower the other day, and it immediately irked me.  Make me prove to you that I'm a worthy addition to your company.  Don't waste both of our times with stupid questions where I'm perfectly capable of making up more-than-adequate answers on the spot.  I think quick, I'm smart, and I'm witty.  You have no chance.

I imagine that I'll have some sort of interview in the upcoming months.  Maybe I should just be honest.  If nothing else, it'd be a good story.

Happy Job Hunting,

1 comment:

  1. Interviewing=fun

    I don't mind the interview process, probably because I am a nut job and tend to ask my interviewer more questions about them then they ask of me. It seems to work.