Thursday, January 26, 2012

Men are Even Better at Being Housewives

Thanks to my Sugar Momma, I'm still jobless, stuck at home all day.  So, I'm a housewife.  Except I can fix things.  Men win again.

Our shower faucet was weird immediately.  Apparently, rust was coming through the pipes and blocking our low-flow shower head.  I found a plumber's wrench, pulled it off, cleaned it out, soaked it in CLR, and reattached it in pristine condition (not forgetting the fancy latex tape).  It worked for a few days, but then it got all funky again.

So, I ran to Holmes Depot.  I found a screen that you can put in your hose before placing it on your outside spigot to stop whatever the hell might be living inside from clogging up your hose.  I brought it home, trimmed it down with my Cutco knife (yeah, I interviewed with 'em, too), and shoved that shit in the shower head.  Now it works perfectly.  You see any housewives with vaginas performing plumbing feats?

Then we came home to a leak one evening.  A new section of a pipe had been recently added above this section of the ceiling, and it wasn't quite tight enough.  It was fixed with a torque wrench, but it left some very noticeable damage.  So, my pimpmones started raging.

 Patched it.  Sanded it.  Even added that weird popcorn shit for the acoustic ceiling.
And painted it FTW!

If you're reading this blog, and you're a lady, and you can patch drywall and fix plumbing and Drano a drain (like I had to do yesterday), then you're a man.  Congrats.  Go eat a Cinnabon.

And seriously, Cinnabon tastes like trash every time, no matter how amazing it smells,


  1. hahahaahaha!
    The other day I was thinking that I should let my husband be a stay-at-home hubby so he can fix all the crap I can't. Then I read this, how strange!

    1. That's spectacular. It is because I speak the truth (but with a delightfully chauvinistic tone).

  2. I am not a stay-at-home girlfriend, but I have patched drywall and used drain-o. I must admit though, I did leave the plumbing to the boys. :(
    Not a man yet (I think that's good),