|It was really cold, and it was flowing much faster than this picture is showing.|
Annie did a great job detailing my first experience backpacking. We went all out for my first time, and I feel very accomplished afterward. Sweet, darling, innocent Annie was nice enough to leave out some of the details more appropriate for my blog than hers:
We delayed our trip by a day because I didn't feel spectacular. I was in full-on allergy mode, and my domestic partner's mother decided to poison me with a concoction of over the counter medication. I've learned not to take dosing advice from her, even though she's half my weight. She's a professional.
Bugs are damn annoying. I was covered in 100% Deet which smells lethal. Almost flammable. Yet, there were no fires, so I couldn't roast 'mallows like I'd always imagined camping entailed. I want s'mores if I'm walking my ass that far without a shower.
|How's that for a view?|
We had a wine platypus. Yeah, most people hike with these little plastic, flimsy bottles filled with water. We are not most people. We poured a petite sirah into one of them before leaving. This is a level of classiness not seen before in camping. (Except it was designed specifically for wine, so I imagine it is a top seller in yuppie sporting goods stores.)
I didn't poop for over 24 hours. This is/was a big deal. You're asked to pack out any toilet paper you use. You have no clue how much toilet paper I use to wipe my ass. I'm not clean down there until you would blow your nose in the tissue after wiping. You also have to dig a hole for your poop. Nope, not worth it.
I experienced what it was like to skinny dip while being sober, in the full light of day. Skinny dipping is way more awkward than I remember it being in the past, but those incidents were always clouded by the alcohol fairy (or at least the extreme blackness of night).
|This was the view from my water seat above.|
I got a little whiny in the morning. Big surprise: a fat guy on a thin mat resting on the ground didn't find himself very comfortable. I also got really hot. So, sleeping didn't go as well as planed. ~RoB minus sleep becomes Dragon Rob! Food helped a little, so did motion in the direction of the car.
You must separate yourself from your chapstick the entire time that it is dark out. It is unacceptable. I need my chapstick more than I need oxygen. More than I need sex. (If there was a better advertisement for Chapstick, I'd like to see it.) Apparently bears like fruity smelling things, and it was the choice between luscious, soft, creamy lips or arm wrestling a grizzly. My brain won the argument, but just barely. I could probably take a bear if it had my last Cherry Chapstick.
|Found a teddy bear saying "I <3 Chapstick". This was next to it. WTF?|
Apparently, I purchased a fancy, new, inflatable camping mat from Annie's dad's store (30% family discount!), and we're going out for 2 days in Pt. Reyes at the end of this month. I'll either be really good at this soon, or I'll be craigslisting a fancy, new, inflatable camping mat from Annie's dad's store. We all know I'm meant more for a fancy hotel downtown than a rustic campsite anyway.