|Also, furry people with warts must hold hands.|
If you've ever taken a shower with me, you know quite well how ritualistically clean my penis is. It gets washed 2 or 3 times in the course of a single shower. I can't really say that I take better care of any other part of my body. Maybe my teeth.
So, why is it that when I walk into a public restroom, after touching the doors and the light switch and any other medium in my way, do I not immediately wash my hands before pulling lil' ~RoB out to pee? I mean, I have a perfectly good idea of where my penis has been for the past 45 minutes since I last peed. I don't, however, have any clue what kind of creepy, diseased crackwhore you finger-banged during lunch before coming in here to wash off your hands. Or, slightly more realistically, if you dragged your ass out of here after pooping without appropriately anti-bacterializing (word?) yourself. Shouldn't I be worried about me?
Dirty touches door. I touch door. I touch penis. BAM! Gonorrhea. Or poison ivy. Or something else I'd rather not have my penis infected with.
Things would be different if I was serving food or something. But the average person should feel privileged to touch the hand that touches my pristine penis. That being said, I always wash my hands. Always. Regardless if I'm doing #1, #2, #3, or some sick combination of all the former with extras. Well, that is unless I'm naked, but then I usually don't use my hands at all during the process of urinating.
So... who wants to shake my hand?