I'm far from macho, but I rarely show any emotion other than happiness. I cried when I was 16 while being a pall bearer for a close friend. I don't think I've cried since then, and it'll take something at least as bad as that to get a big stir out of me. I don't ask for help. Annie hates that I hide all emotion with humor. It's the most guy thing I do. Maybe one day I'll be mature enough to sob like Urban Meyer or John Boehner, since they are such respectable people...
I filled out the paperwork to take a Leave of Absence from UCLA today. That was a hassle (still not done). I have absolutely no intention of ever returning to L.A., but Annie demanded I have a backup plan. I have no clue how much $$ I'm going to have to pay UCLA, but it doesn't sound like they'll let me off easy. Let's make sure that those grad students don't leave without overwhelming debt, after all! I also spent 59 infuriating minutes on hold trying to change my jury duty.
I packed up my office at school. It's sad that roughly 1/6 of my possessions are text-/notebooks for college classes. Today was the first big wave of "what the fuck am I doing?" My whole life has been pretty easy. Big decisions have usually been between two things I'm good at, and most big moves were lined up so that I could dance through life without much stress. Considering where I've come from, I've been more than successful. However, in just a week or two, my credit cards will be maxed out, my checking/savings accounts will be zero, and I will not have a job. That's really scary. It also makes me fear that my ever-interesting life is going to become mundane and boring like everyone else's. I know having an interesting life (like I feel I have had for years) is mostly what you make of it, but I have had a lot of experiences to work-with/choose-from throughout the past decade.
I decided to watch True Grit in Westwood Village to kill time until my office would be empty. I really enjoy good Westerns! I invited some friends. When I showed up, the theater was a TV show set. Oh L.A., you never fail me when I'm worried about being boring. I was disappointed that I couldn't see the movie, until I asked the theater across the street (where The Tourist is playing) what was being filmed, and they slipped in that they took True Grit for the day. I went to the 5:10 show and was the only one in there, cuz everyone was too busy gawking outside to find the movie. Tourists.
|The TV Set, an abstraction from my crappy iPhone camera|
No job offers yet,