Friday, April 1, 2011

Kiwis

It's kiwi season (or it's ending), so we have had a regular supply of them at our apartment, thanks to the two weekly farmers' markets we visit.  The other day I caught our vegetarian roommate eating the fuzzy fruit like an apple, peel and all.  I always rip them in half and spoon the insides out like a grapefruit.  She convinced me that it wasn't too awkward, and that it was really healthy for you.

So, I tried it today.  It is the equivalent of what I imagine having hairy balls in your mouth feels like.  I can't get rid of the feeling of hairy sandpaper on my tongue.
Not sure why ^ this one is shaved.
Not sure how this 'Asian scrotum' differentiates from most...
Things I learned while researching this topic:
1) If you're just starting to shave your cobblers, try it on a kiwi first.  (You can click on the shaved kiwi above to get a whole instruction manual on how to shave your figs).

2) There are a bazillion words to talk about testicles:

testes,

nads,

fruit basket,

nuggets,

wrinkle bag,

marbles,

acorns,

hacky-sac,

baby beans,

bollocks,

man pouch,

snake eyes,

plums,

stones,

family jewels,

gonads,

cojones,

junk,

man-jigglies,

man tonsils,

love spuds,

hanging brain,

ornaments,

figs,

cobblers [I've been using this alot lately],

kiwis,

teabag,

scrotum,

balls,

nutsack,

and, finally, my new personal fave, Ewoks.

3) If you've actually made it this far, then your reward is the cutest nutsack I've ever seen:

I'm blown away by how much more traumatizing it is to Google image search "scrotum" as opposed to "hairy scrotum",
~RoB

2 comments:

  1. I have to add 'man basket' to the list.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kristen Wiig just used "hairy love eggs" in the movie Paul. Added.

    ReplyDelete