Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Today's Awkward Moments

First of all, let me explain that when I usually refer to my parents, I'm referring to my grandparents.  For most of my life I lived with (and was primarily raised by) my grandmother (by blood), Granny, and her 3rd? husband, Pops.  *Insert Golden Girls / Family Matters / Cosby Show / Walker, Texas Ranger jokes here.*  My mother was always kind of around, but she was super flaky, and it was better that I wasn't left solely in her hands.  Don't worry, when she was around we shared a bedroom (through high school), so we got tons of 1-on-1 time.  Anyway, my grandparents aren't really that old, since Granny had mom at 16 and Mom had me in her early 20s.  My grandparents are probably the same age as your parents.  I digress.

Today, Pops sent me an email, all in bold caps, with the subject: BIRTHDAY.
Thank you, Pops.  However, I was born in 1985.  This is actually my 26th birthday.  The only father figure I've regularly had throughout my life is apparently a little bad at math, or just doesn't know when I was born.

Other moment, though not birthday related, was during my pre-employment drug screen.
Tech: Sir, you understand this is a urine sample, right?
Me: Yes.
Tech: Are you prepared to donate right now?
Me: Always.

If you've read my blog from the beginning, you'll understand that I likely have some sort of bladder problem, since I pee constantly throughout the day.  My answer was truthful, but it made an already tense situation more awkward.  He just gave me a funny look as if he didn't quite catch what I said but didn't want to ask me to repeat it.  It's like I force these interesting moments in my life now.

Always prepared to pee,

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